I created this blog for the purpose of documenting and also sharing about my joys, successes and struggles as I walk hand in hand with the Lord. I have accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior back when I lost everything. I used to say I already had Christ in me even before that but it was at that moment when I finally surrendered everything to Him and He paved the way for my healing. It wasn't a quick process but little by little the Lord redeemed me and made me whole again when I was broken and lost as I started.
I was just separated from my husband and I was also diagnosed with a heart problem so I can't stress myself too much. Before all these happened, I guess I can say I was so full of myself. I thought I don't need anybody really 'cos I can earn on my own, without a boss to boss me around. I just need a computer and the internet and I can earn well enough to give me all that I need in life. Even then I felt I was already faithful to the Lord but every time there is a need for making decisions, I made them. I didn't wait for Him to help me and guide me with what decisions to make, I just do it. My husband was a good match for me because he never challenged my leadership. I liked him because he was my follower. He will do as I say without him knowing that that's how it was in our relationship.
The turmoil in the relationship happened when I finally decided that being married to him I should make him the leader and I the follower. He made all the bad choices and I had no clue about them and all of a sudden the reality was slammed on my face and I didn't know what to do. Fast forward, we reached the point when future looked so dim. I didn't want to be with him because I fear he will only lead me to hell. It was a hellish life and I never wanted to experience that again. So I made the mistake. I asked him to leave me so he can face his hell that he created as I leave and save myself from it. There are no more use for regrets. I believe it all needed to happen. It needed to happen to make me realize that without God and Christ as my Lord and Savior I really am nothing. He took everything away from me and all I really had then was my faith. It needed to happen to teach my husband that he should make good decisions in life because life is real. There's no rewind button and saying sorry won't fix things. That there are consequences to every decisions we make in life and he needs to learn to face them as a real man. No one else, not his family nor I, can fix the mess he made.
1 1/2 years after we separated, through God's grace we are able to establish good friendship and eventually decided to try and make things work again. It was still just about him and me and of course for our daughter. But there was still one missing link, and it was Christ. He was the missing link in our relationship. God paved the way. He made our paths straight by adding Christ into the equation. I never thought then that we lacked Christ as much as we did. As I got to learn more and be immersed in church, the more that I realized we really barely included Christ into our relationship. As much as we want to deny it, our decisions were still made by our own mental capacities, our own stubborn minds were making decisions for us. When we added Christ into the relationship, slowly we see progress. Progress within ourselves, our relationships with Christ, God and the Holy Spirit, but most importantly, we get to see the good in each other again. Romance started to crawl back into our hearts. Little by little... small progress that never would have been possible... are now happening.
So, this is basically just an introduction. I wish to share more but this isn't really about what my life was like but really about the messages sent to me by the Lord so I could share them for others to reflect on. God is a wonderful God and He is so eager to help us we just really need to accept Christ as our Lord and Savior. Embrace Him. Listen to Him. You'd be amazed at how He works in YOUR LIFE!
Follow me on my journey. Get in touch with me. Let us walk towards Jesus together. God be praised!
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